Entry 001

She was staring at the wall, just sitting and staring. She wished she was numb. She prayed she got free of the feeling as some phantom hand is ripping her lungs away from her.

She was in pain and tears were just coming without any notice. She was staring and crying, eternal cycle and nothing more, just staring and crying. She just want pain to go away. She was a coward, she knew it. She was afraid of that pain, she had it once and she couldn’t stand it, not even a five minutes of it. She wished she was dead, or drugged, or sleeping for like a thousand years. But she couldn’t.

Lungs were ripped off, her heart too. Knifes were shoving deep inside her chest. She cradled herself: It is ok, you can do this. Feel it completely and adjust to it, live with it. Nothing to be afraid off, just that poking inside, you can use to it.

She wished she could. She was bleeding inside. Huge hole inside of her like a void, a black hole. Yes, that was it, a black hole and she was caught into it…

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